Slaughter in San Francisco (1974)

Slaughter in San Francisco is promoted as a Chuck Norris film, but he is neither the central figure in the movie nor in it very much. The main actor in the film is martial artist Don Wong, who plays Officer Don Wong, a San Francisco police officer who goes rogue against his department. So, while the Walker, Texas Ranger star is not really the star of this film, the real question is, how bad does a movie have to be to embarrass Chuck Norris (rumor has it)?

          Legend has it that Don Wong, the actor, replaced Bruce Lee, who had been allegedly set to star in the film had he not died. Although the film’s director, Wei Lo, had directed Lee in The Big Boss (1971) and Fist of Fury (1972), it seems doubtful that the icon would have ended up in something like this. Each of Lee’s films seems to be several notches above what we see in Slaughter in San Francisco, which lacks the charm and wit of the star’s body of work.

          The film is perfect for VHS with its 1.33:1 aspect ratio and ridiculous dubbing, including American actors like Norris, which provides the perfect argument for the existence of this blog. Rumor has it that there is a DVD with a 2.35:1 aspect ratio and no dubbing, but who wants that? No amount of pristine cinematography or surround sound can cover up the stench of a dung heap.

          The plot of the film is your basic rogue cop cleans up a dirty system story. Officers Wong and John Sumner (Robert Jones) rescue a young woman from an attempted rape that she later denies happened. It turns out that her attackers are members of a criminal organization led by San Francisco crime lord Chuck Slaughter, played by Chuck Norris. Wong and Sumner’s persistence leads to the former’s suspension and the latter’s murder, leading to the cliché of the noble cop avenging his fallen partner. That’s about the only thing in this movie that you can really comprehend as the police captain (Dan Ivan) turns out to be corrupt and ends up paying the ultimate price at the hands (literally) of Wong, who ends up getting reinstated—how did Wong escape manslaughter charges at the very least?

          As badly put together as I found this film, it does ultimately work as a thoroughly 70s martial arts films that goes completely through the looking glass and ends up being entertaining for all the wrong reasons, including Norris’ ridiculously abundant body hair. Hey, nobody watches a kung fu movie for a riveting plot or nuanced performance.